I miss Ana. We're getting close to the 5 month mark. She should be smiling at me. We planted some flowers at her grave this week, which was nice. I've had a few more dreams about her lately. Usually it's about her stuff, particularly her clothes. Last night the dream was I had to go into her drawer to get something and all her little onsies were there. We haven't touched her room. Her door is usually closed, but I do go in once and a while. I feel I need to go in and make sure everything is still there. It feels like her room. Even though she was never there, I can feel her energy there. We put so much effort and love into her room. Here is a picture of Ana's nursery, the weekend finished it, a few days before we found out Ana passed.
Right now, my husband and I are focused on trying to conceive our rainbow. I have weird menstrual cycles so it's not as straight forward as I wished it was. It can be hard sometimes to hold onto hope, but I know we will have a take home baby. Here is a figurine I really like. I imagine Ana sending us our rainbow.
Michelle - just wanted to let you know that the nursery is beautiful, I think Ana would have loved it. Hoping you catch that rainbow.
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
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