Hello blog.
Long time no write. Been having some trouble lately. I guess I'm just lost in the "blah" of life. My rainbow, Caden is 10 months now and doing well. He had some illness issues in the beginning (asthma, hospitalized twice, frequent ear infections) but seems like things are getting better. I love being his Mom, and he gets me through the hard times. I feel like since I have him now, I should be happy and things should be easier.
Its been a little over a year since my Mom died, and almost three years since Ana. I miss them both, and they are on my mind a lot lately. Trying to figure out what to do for Ana's third birthday. I want to get a ballon and bring it to the cemetery. Also want to make a cake. I miss my Mom...and am sad that she is missing out on being a grandmother.
I'm just feeling kind of depressed lately. I can't really identify anything aside from grief, not fully enjoying one of the schools I work at. I have a new job working as a school social worker, and I enjoy it. It has great benefits. Just still getting to know people. It can be overwhelming at times, as I am working with a high needs population.
My friends have had a lot of loss lately. My Dad moved to Florida for the winter. It's just all kind of weird and I miss how things used to be. I guess I need to get some work done. I just miss my little girl. I want her here. I worry a lot about my son dying. I try and not let my mind wander, but it's hard some days. I do think we will be ready soon to try for rainbow #2 which is exciting.
I'll try to write more.
