Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Storms and hope

Hello journal, been so long. Our live is so busy...happy, but busy! I am always battling my sadness and anxiety over losing my daughter, and my Mother. So, here's the update on us.

Our first rainbow is three and a half, working on potty training and starting preschool soon. He is a silly, sensitive little guy very much like his mama. He likes mickey mouse, cars and playing outside.

Our second rainbow is 18 months. Sweet, but also wild! She loves to keep up with her brother, is showing interest in the potty already. She likes playing with her baby doll, chasing her brother and "cleaning" by dumping everything off the table.

After my c section with Willow my doc told me I shouldn't have anymore, just because of the scar tissue. It was a more complicated delivery. After the emotions of that pregnancy I would have agreed, until she actually said no more. Then my emotions were everywhere. I also expected to feel "complete" after I had Willow...I had envisioned Ana, Caden and Willow for years, and here they were. However, I was still missing my first little girl. I would never feel complete because she wasn't here.

We became foster parents when I was pregnant with Willow. We had always wanted to adopt at some point, as I am adopted. We got numerous calls for placements but they weren't the right fit (older, not up for adoption). We got a call on July 18th about a little boy, just born, who was looking for a home. We brought him home a few days later. He is a wonderful addition to our family. We hope to adopt him but right now he is a foster placement. However reunification isn't progressing at all. We hope to know in the next few months. He is a little love, laid back with big smiles. I will try to keep this updated but you know how that goes. Look how much has changed in 5 years...