Missing my baby today. I had bad nightmares last night. They don't come as often as they used to, but when they do they throw me off balance. Last night, I dreamed one of my close friends told me she was 9 months pregnant with a baby girl. I cried and sobbed and yelled at her. I was so mad at her for not telling me, and so angry that she was having a baby and I lost mine. Then another one I was at a store in the baby section. I was trying to avoid the area but couldn't. Some people who had a baby around the same time I did (in real life) where there, and they bought the same bottles I bought for Ana. I was mad and I couldn't escape. I think I also kept looking for Ana but I couldn't find her. I hate those dreams. I want my baby. If I can't have Ana, I want my rainbow baby. We've been trying for 2 1/2 months now to get pregnant, and while that isn't very long I'm still sad I'm not pregnant yet. I miss her so much, and want to use all of our baby things. I want to hold a living, breathing baby in my arms. I think that's it for now. Here is a pic my Aunt posted this morning, and I thought it was a great representation of what I am going through and what I need to remember....the rainbow after the storm.
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