5 Months

Five months, angel. I love you so much and cannot believe it has been this long. I am feeling hopeful today. I feel much more healthy then I have in a while. I am ready to be pregnant again. I am far enough away from your death to realize a new baby would not be you. I am ready to try, and feel joy and hope again. I saw a big rainbow today and I know your little brother (or sister, but I'm pretty sure a brother!) is near. Thank you angel for everything you have brought me and Daddy. Last night we went to a Lammas ritual (first harvest) and we went around saying what he were grateful for. It was really hard for Mommy to think of something I'm grateful for. I came up with family, and my improving health. Your Daddy was able to say he was thankful for you. I am too. Your Daddy is a strong, strong man. We're ready to move forward. You will always be our first, our precious little girl. I will always miss you. Some days will be really, really hard but I'm doing it. Are you proud of me? I know I have to live for both of us. I love you.