Apples and Oranges

Ugh. Love how you can be slapped in the face with grief when you least expect it, and by those you least expect it from.

A friend's dog died recently. She shared a video her son made her about the dog. It was sad and a beautiful tribute. The dog had been sick for a while, but had lived a long healthy life. In her post on facebook, she called the dog her baby. I was triggered by this, as dogs are not babies. I can understand the deep love we have for our pets. I had two dogs I grew up with, and I loved them deeply. I was very saddened by their passing. I remember when we were discussing putting my dog down, and I was sobbing. I said that Sunny was my baby. My mother said, "Michelle, he is not your baby". I was very angered by this. However, years later I lost my daughter, and learned she was right. My dog was not my baby. Anastasia Maeve Paradis was my baby.

The pain of losing my dog is nowhere near the pain of losing my daughter. I apparently upset this friend, who must have shared my private message with a mutual friend. This mutual friend posted a scathing rant publicly saying her dog had been her baby, and repeated "baby" over and over again, saying go ahead and delete her if I didn't like it. She then stated she had carried babies within her body, and losing her dog hurt more than losing those babies.

I was dumbfounded. Seriously? I'm not sure what to think of that. Is is possible for someone to have more pain over losing an animal than a child? I just..don't get it. I however don't think she was wanting to be pregnant, and had a miscarriage...I could be wrong, but not sure. I do not feel that losing your pet dog, and losing your child are even in the same stratosphere. For her to suggest they are, and in fact losing a dog was worse was very painful for me. I'm sorry, no matter how much you love your dog, you love your children more. I did not fully understand this until I lost my daughter.

Nothing, not even watching my mother die from cancer was more painful than holding my dead child in my arms.

I am having a rough day. I sent her a private polite message and blocked her. I cannot see those types of posts. It makes me feel like she is invalidating Ana's life. Like her life is not worth more than a dog. I freaking love dogs, and miss mine all the time but it does not equate to a human child...I'm sorry. I just can't see that.

I was able to talk to my sister and a fellow loss Mom friend, and that helped immensely. The advice was to be glad they do not know the pain of losing a child, and their worst day is losing a pet. I am really trying to focus on that...